A Clotheshorse Tries to Minimize

I've always been obsessed with clothes and shoes. My mother called me Amelda Marcus from an early age due to the ridiculous amount of footwear in my closet. I've come to realize that clothing is my status symbol. Some people want a fancy car or a house with a three car garage, but my daydreams are all Sex And The City and Jimmy Choo shoes. In all fairness, my practical side is heavy handed with the fashion diva in my head so it's not like I am spending absurd amounts of money on these things.

When I started minimizing, I also started analyzing what is truly important in life. And I am slowly coming around to the realization that my infatuation with clothing has something to do with my vision of myself. Clothing is a means for me to feel like I can be whoever I am dressing to be.

Work Powerhouse: Blazer, button up, scarf, and perfect manicure. 

Hostess with the Mostest: Sundress, heels, cute apron while serving up something delicious.

Photographer: Black on black on black. 

A power outfit sometimes gives me confidence that I might not of had on my own. Am I simply playing dress up like I did when I was a girl? Is this obsession just another tier of my unhealthy struggle with perfectionism? What happens if I remove this element from my life? Does something more important come into focus?

As I was asking myself important questions about how I measured my own worth, Dom had me read this book.  Among other things, I learned about the 333 Project. In this minimalism exercise, you choose 33 items to wear over 3 months. You box everything else up in your closet. Repeat this on a seasonal basis.

The idea kept niggling at me and wouldn't leave me alone. It was particularly powerful one night as I reflected on my photo shoots from the previous week where I documented the lives of Rwandan mothers and realized how grateful I should be for all I have. In that moment, I felt that I wanted to focus more intently on the truly important things in my life instead of being caught up in my own frivolity. It was time to put my money where my mouth was.

As I pulled things from my closet, I was surprised how much resistance I felt. I was nervous. Dare I say afraid? I found myself in front of my closet having a series of mental arguments with myself with an angel on one shoulder and the devil wears Prada on the other.

Clothes do not the woman make. 

But everyone is used to seeing you dressed nicely. What will people think?

It's not like you won't be dressed nicely. You'll wear nice things, just less of them.

You'll look stupid. 

No one will even notice----why do you think they would?

You can do anything for three months.

Why are you even putting yourself through this?

What's the big deal? Are you so shallow that you cannot do without a few articles of clothing?

Push, pull, push, pull.

I eventually  overcame all the voices in my head, but I still feel a bit uneasy about the project. Enter this blog post for the sheer sake of accountability.

Project 333
I narrowed my closet to 33 items of clothing and footwear. This did not include additional accessories. I minimized my accessories to 10 earrings, 1 ring, 2 bracelets, and 9 necklaces (all the true minimalists out there will find this atrocious but consider this my baby steps in the right direction). This also does not include my workout clothes, underthings, or a small selection of 12 items that I wear only on photo shoots out to the field as my shoot clothing gets pretty beat up in the long term.

I am not sure what I expect to come out of this exercise. I figure I will either be surprised by what you can do with very little and be sold on the idea in the long term or completely hate the entire process. I hope that this continues my journey of really focusing on the things that matter in life regardless of how it turns out. Our lives are so short, and we have so much more than most people in the world. I hope we all take the time to enjoy it.

Trying Out Minimalism for Ourselves

As many of you read in my last post Dom and I are exploring the idea of minimizing the things in our lives that take up space.  We realized that it's not only stuff that takes up our time. It's also things like cable and the internet. Every evening things seemed to be panning out the same way. Dinner, work out, veg out on bad AFN television or mindless internet surfing.

So we decided to put this minimalism thing to the test.

Trying Out Minimalism Our Way

1. Get rid of the stuff we simply aren't using. We spent last weekend going through every room in the house (still haven't made it to the storage room). I also am trying the Oprah hanger trick  for the next thirty days to see what I am using on a regular basis. In 30 days we have to revisit the items we decided to keep---have we used them? Are they adding to our life?

2. We are limited the amount of time we spend on the internet and on television each day. No more than one hour of internet after 6:00 p.m. per day. No more than an hour of television each day.

3. For every new item we purchase, we have to get rid of two old things.

4. We started a list of all the things we want to do and are proactively moving forward.


I've learned a few things at the end of our first week. Minimizing actually feels good especially when you realize that many of the items you are keeping are for sentimental reasons. I kept asking myself if the person who gave me the item ever thought of it again? And yet here I was keeping it because of my love for the person who gave it to me not because I truly loved it or used it. I think I need to transfer that love into creating a more meaningful relationships with that person or people. Keeping their gifts around me doesn't do a thing for our relationship. If I am thinking about them then I should call them, visit them, send them a card. I should build on the relationship.

It also feels good to give things to people who need them and will use them. We are spoiled by the massive shipment of stuff we are allowed to bring abroad. But many of our friends are making do with what they were able to bring from home in a suitcase. I have a guest room set up for "shopping" and I'll donate the rest to one of the many places doing good in Rwanda.

It's lots of fun to do things instead of watching tv. This weekend we went to a jazz event, jewelry and craft show, had friends over for dessert and drinks, and ran off to Lake Muhazi with some friends for lunch and boating on Sunday. I didn't miss CSI at all!

I have a feeling this whole experience is headed somewhere but we're still figuring it out where it's going. All I know is that I feel good about it. This week we've gotten several shipments of things we ordered prior to the whole minimalist epiphany. We both laughed because none of them seemed important or worth the money we spent. Time to figure out if I can return it all and to decide what to do next weekend!

Do We Need This Stuff?

I just realized that I might be addicted to stuff. You’d never know because my home storage space is strategically set up to look tidy. Not to mention the ample space in my four bedrooms/4.5 bath deluxe FS digs.  It’s not like I need to be on hoarders, but I do have a meaningful relationship with the buy it now button on Amazon.

I spent several hours doing some minimalist reading and I realized that I have a lot of stuff. I feel like living in a beautiful space with beautiful things somehow makes me more worthy. Worthy of what? I have no idea.

I assume this has something to do with my childhood and the fact that I didn’t grow up having a lot. I am sure there is some type psychoanalysis that would show I am compensating because I equate stuff with happiness. The whole idea is pretty ridiculous.

In the Foreign Service, Dom and I are allotted 250 lbs each of UAB (Unaccompanied Air Baggage). That’s the stuff that shows up within the first couple weeks at post and tides us over until our HHE arrives. We are allowed to bring up a whopping 7,200 lbs in our HHE (Household Effects). This doesn’t include the 2,500 lbs of consumables we were allotted at this post or the fact that most of our furniture is provided by the Embassy.  We’ve never moved our entire weight allotment. But I have to questions if I really need to be moving over 10,000 lbs of stuff all over the world on a regular basis?

I had this epiphany once before on January 12, 2010. The night of the earthquake in Haiti, Dom and I were allowed to go back to our homes for fifteen minutes to gather whatever belongings we might need. We were told that it was likely that our homes would be looted in the night. I remember standing in the entryway trying to figure out what was important enough to take, the one thing in that house that was irreplaceable to me was Dom. We left with laptops, camera gear, paperwork, pillows, and a duffle with a change of clothes and a few toiletries. Nothing else really mattered.

Four years later I am reminded that the stuff that I have chosen to fill my life up doesn’t bring happiness. I’m not saying that I am not happy. But my greatest happiness comes from relationships, photography, and adventure. The real question is what could I be doing with all the time and money that I’ve been investing in stuff? What about you? What could you be doing if you traded in your stuff for experiences?

Adventures in Cape Town

It's been almost a year since Dom and I arrived in Kigali, Rwanda. We decided it was well past time for a break. So, we put our vacation fund to use and ran away to Cape Town.

Check out our video reel for fun highlights and don't miss our Top 10 list from Cape Town and the Cape Winelands.


Adventures in Cape Town from Crystaline Randazzo on Vimeo.

Table Mountain
Before arriving, someone told me that Cape Town is like Colorado meeting the California coast. I felt so at home in the slightly arid climate. Our ride to the top of Table Mountain was one of the most breathtaking things we experienced. We spent the following two hours wandering around the edge and communing with nature.

The Potluck Club 
It should come as no surprise that much of our trip revolved around food. When we discovered that we couldn't get a reservation at The Test Kitchen, South Africa's best restaurant, we decided to try out their sister restaurant. It's located at the top of the Old Biscuit Mill with amazing views of Table Mountain and Table Bay. I'm still dreaming about their pork belly, Korean fried chicken, and popcorn ice cream.

Sailing Around the VA Waterfront
A client of mine who is South African recommended that we take a sunset sailboat tour around table mountain. I admit I had my doubts when I saw the throngs of tourists and boat options at the Waterfront. But I am so glad that we did it! Even the sailboat captain was taking photos; he said that the winter solstice always brings the best sunsets. What better way to celebrate the beginning of our vacation then a champagne toast?!

The Cape Point Drive
We originally blocked off two days for the drive but found it was totally do-able in one. Each beach seemed more beautiful than the last and we promised ourselves that we would have to come back and enjoy them in the summer. It was pretty cool to be at the most south western tip of Africa and to hang out with a few penguins. Maybe next time we'll get to go in whale watching season!

Spice Route Wine Farm/ Vrende en Lust
There are so many wineries that it's quite difficult to choose! Spice Route was an amazing estate with wine tasting, fine art glass blowing, chocolate factory, coffee shop, brewery, and restaurant. It was our first stop on the tour and the wine/chocolate pairing knocked our socks off! Vrende en Lust came highly recommended by multiple parties and now we know why. We loved every bottle we tasted. Fun fact: I was able to bring home 10 bottles of wine, 3 pieces of ceramics, and 2 pieces of glass art. I have mad packing skills.

Franschhoek
We stayed two nights in Franschoek and two nights in Stellenbosch. When we go back, I think we will stay put in Franshhoek. It was such a charming town! Downtown was full of art galleries, restaurants, and boutiques. Surprisingly, the Cape winelands is really easy to drive. And there's a trolley if you don't want to bother with a DD.

La Petite Dauphine
This bed and breakfast was absolutely fabulous! All the portraits you saw in the video were shot there. Little cabins are nestled in between fields of grapes and olives. Breakfast and dinner were absolutely delicious! My favorite part were the four pups that ran around and the rooster, Heinrich, who kept an eye on us during meals from his perch on top of the piano.

Indochine Restaurant
We stumbled up this place at lunch and couldn't get a seating. So we came back for dinner and we are so glad that we did. We did the tasting menu and every course was divine! Make sure to book in advance!

Photo Session with Christine Meintjes
As Dom and I are celebrating five years of marriage this year, I was determined to get some professional photos done on our trip. After many hours of research I came across Christine's website and I just had to have her. We had such a great time hanging out with her and it was fun to just relax and be ourselves. I am so glad we have photos to help us remember this time in our life and our vacation to Cape Town.

If anyone is planning a trip to Cape Town, I am happy to share a more extensive list of sites!

The Law of Divine Compensation

I recently finished reading a book that changed my perspective on how I look at my work, my preconceived notions about money, and my fear of success. I realized that in many ways that I blamed the FS lifestlye for what I saw as a lack of success. I also realized that I am so terrified of failing that I'd rather hide behind that excuse then risk failure. And so with trembly knees I decided to change my attitude.

I don't really like rules but I gave myself one. Be grateful.  I was determined to take the time to be grateful for my life, my work, and the people around me.

I hadn't had any photography work coming in and multiple contracts that never came through for one reason or another. In the mean time, I began researching small nonprofits in Rwanda that fell into my portfolios of interest. These were women's issues, agriculture, and education. The organizations had primarily voluntary staffs and no operating budgets for marketing so I knew I wasn't taking away work from other photographers. If the work wasn't going to come to me then I was going to go to it.

"We experience who we really are, and what it is we're meant to do, in any moment when we pour our love into the universe."- The Law of Divine Compensation

After a quick trip to the U.S. I came back to Kigali ready to work on my new projects. And then the most amazing thing happened. Paid work just started showing up at my door. I made a conscious effort to follow my rule and multiple times during my shoots I reminded myself to cherish the moments. Then I'd get back home and have another quote inquiry in my inbox.

Who knows what the reasons are? Maybe it's because there is a lot of attention on Rwanda and the twentieth anniversary of the genocide. Maybe I've been here long enough that more people know me and pass my name around. Maybe I changed my attitude and the universe responded.

There have been many times that I have felt the lowest depths of failure as I try to navigate the foreign service and following my passion. But the highs that come along with them are not relished nearly as much as they should be. I live in Rwanda and I am getting to tell amazing stories through photography of another culture and connect with interesting people every day. I am grateful!

"You are internally programmed to rise to your highest creative possibility. Nothing you do can erase the yearning of your soul to achieve it, or the yearning of the universe to give it to you". 
-The Law of Divine Compensation

Abundance & Gratitude

I spent the entire month of November seeing Facebook updates as people did their 30 Days of Grateful. Or rather, they tried to do it but often had to have multiple "grateful" items when they forgot and skipped a day.  But I had to appreciate people taking a moment to say the universal prayer that applies with or without religion.  Thank you.

I started meditating on a regular basis a year ago. At that point in my life, I was stressed. ALL THE TIME. It was a combination of many things but mostly that I was trying really hard to control all aspects of my life, my business, and be perfect at everything. The more I explore mediation, the more that I learn that being reflective is often about being thankful for the good things in your life. I first started thinking about this when I ran across the 365 Grateful Project at the early phases of my journey.  I realized that my reactive nature often controlled my level of reflectiveness. Then I realized that being reactive is a choice. So I decided to choose to be less reactive, to breath when I felt stress, and to count my blessings. Sometimes I felt like I was in slow motion and would catch myself falling into old habits only to be caught by a deep breath. Is this even worth the energy I will expend? And slowly my life has gotten better. Or maybe it was good all along and I wasn't taking the time to notice. 

I have by no means mastered a zen lifestyle. Ask my husband- just last night I was panicking as we tried to drive on a muddy Rwandan road with water that had reached knee level. He powered through as we passed a capsized truck and got us home. Have I mentioned that I am grateful that he is slightly more adventurous than I am? Especially considering the FS lifestyle and all.

So I suppose my relationship with an abundant life is still at its beginning. But I've spent some time to figure out what brings more of it into my life. 

©Crystaline Randazzo Photo LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Family- My family consists of my husband and one black and white Zambian fuzzball. I'll put them at the top of any "grateful" list. I know that there have been times where I didn't put them on the top, but I also know that all that focus on other things didn't bring me the same amount of happiness.  

©Crystaline Randazzo Photo LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Meditation- Every morning before I sit behind the computer and get lost in the depths.

Passion- I am particularly lucky to love what I do. But as I am learning about my industry that loving what you do and making a living at it are two different things. I've spent a lot of time in self reflection and I am still learning what I want. Perhaps my 30's is where I narrow that down. 

Exercise-  Particularly swimming. Putting my head underwater and laps behind me puts me in a good headspace. Though- I will give a shout out to Insanity which I finished earlier this year. That was an exercise in my problem with task completion. 

Relationships-  The few and far between true blue friendships that get you through the sweet and the sour in life. I am learning to put more energy into the great ones and less into the ones that don't go anywhere. 

Food- Spending that time to make something truly delicious. Give yourself permission not to rush. This applies to both cooking and eating. 

Learning- I love learning new things. And with the glories of the interwebs and now MOOC's. I actually have to contain myself. 

©Crystaline Randazzo Photo LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Nature- Sometimes I think that nature is my own personal version of church. I get so much out of running away to cabin or a tent and soaking up the scenery. It is simple, blissful rejuvenation. 

Distance- Living far away from the people you love forces you to be practical about a lot of things you wouldn't normally be practical about. This ranges from everything from holidays to family drama. There really is something to be said about perspective.

I wonder what would happen if we just took a little bit more time to consider the great things in our lives. What makes your life more abundant?

Realities of Working for Yourself Overseas

Normally, I use this blog as a platform to keep all of my friends and family in the U.S. updated on our adventures abroad. As a fair warning, this blog post is really for other entrepreneurs and spouses who have joined the foreign service or are thinking about joining with the spouse. This is the knitty gritty reality of trying to run your own business abroad.

Most of you know I am photographer by trade. I am told on a regular basis how great it is that my career is flexible and works with my husband's job. The reality of the situation is that every place that we have lived has been a struggle in terms of obtaining a work permit. Dom and I always carefully analyze our options. We choose countries that have bilateral agreements in place. We try to go to places that are pro foreign business. So when Rwanda basically fell into our laps as a option, we ran through the paces.

Prior to arriving at post, I made phone calls. I spoke with the Community Liaison Officer, the Management Section, and HR. I was put into contact with other foreign photographers on the ground who had gotten their business up and running in short order. I read the FAMER:

Work Permits:

A bilateral work agreement was implemented in 1992. Family Members of US Direct-Hire Americans do not need a work permit to work in Rwanda. The Embassy issues a diplomatic note to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs under the Bilateral Work Agreement in order to obtain permission to accept employment. There are no fees.

The verdict, Rwanda is one of the easiest countries in AF to work in. I felt like we hit the jackpot. Finally, a post where we could both be successful.

We've been at post since July. I started the work permit process in July. I still don't have a work permit. The last five months have been a wrestling match between the U.S. Government and the Rwandan Government on their interpretation of our bilateral agreement. After much back and forth about whether I even needed a work permit, I was told to go through official channels and register the business and start the formal process.

Rwanda is a post that is pro-business and has an incredibly easy process for starting one. My front office, CLO, and Management office have been supportive and proactive. This should be the best case scenario. But what it means for me is that as an official American, it is more complex for me to get a permit than an unofficial one. If all goes well, I might have a work permit at the six month mark. That is a quarter of the way through my tour. I will have a year and half to establish my business and then I will pick up and move to the next tour and start the whole process over again.

Why am I laying out this story? I spent time in D.C. in our last tour. I set up meetings with FLO, AAFSW, PROPS, and any other FS spouse group I could find. I talked to spouses who struggle with the same things that I am struggling with. I learned that I am not alone in trying to conquer this mountain at every post. When spouses of FS officers face situations like this and we have done our homework. When we have chosen our post wisely and it still doesn't work. It feels hopeless. It feels like no mater how hard we push and stretch ourselves that the system is against us. We are destined to "trail" and for most of us that means the fail. We fail to reach our potential, our hopes, and our dreams.

When this is what the future looks like for the spouses of foreign service officers, there is something wrong with the system. It is impossible to keep good officers when their families are limited to embassy jobs that may or may not be in their skill set, local jobs that pay well below their qualification, and bilateral agreements that don't work the way they are designed to.

I am curious about other spouses experiences in situations like this? How do you keep the faith?

For spouses who want to start their own businesses. Make sure you have these items on hand when you arrive to a new post:

Notarized Copies of your Diplomas
Notarized Copies of your transcripts
A police report that says you have no criminal history (the RSO can prepare this document for you)
CV
Extra Passport Photos