I recently finished reading a book that changed my perspective on how I look at my work, my preconceived notions about money, and my fear of success. I realized that in many ways that I blamed the FS lifestlye for what I saw as a lack of success. I also realized that I am so terrified of failing that I'd rather hide behind that excuse then risk failure. And so with trembly knees I decided to change my attitude.
I don't really like rules but I gave myself one. Be grateful. I was determined to take the time to be grateful for my life, my work, and the people around me.
I hadn't had any photography work coming in and multiple contracts that never came through for one reason or another. In the mean time, I began researching small nonprofits in Rwanda that fell into my portfolios of interest. These were women's issues, agriculture, and education. The organizations had primarily voluntary staffs and no operating budgets for marketing so I knew I wasn't taking away work from other photographers. If the work wasn't going to come to me then I was going to go to it.
"We experience who we really are, and what it is we're meant to do, in any moment when we pour our love into the universe."- The Law of Divine Compensation
After a quick trip to the U.S. I came back to Kigali ready to work on my new projects. And then the most amazing thing happened. Paid work just started showing up at my door. I made a conscious effort to follow my rule and multiple times during my shoots I reminded myself to cherish the moments. Then I'd get back home and have another quote inquiry in my inbox.
Who knows what the reasons are? Maybe it's because there is a lot of attention on Rwanda and the twentieth anniversary of the genocide. Maybe I've been here long enough that more people know me and pass my name around. Maybe I changed my attitude and the universe responded.
There have been many times that I have felt the lowest depths of failure as I try to navigate the foreign service and following my passion. But the highs that come along with them are not relished nearly as much as they should be. I live in Rwanda and I am getting to tell amazing stories through photography of another culture and connect with interesting people every day. I am grateful!
"You are internally programmed to rise to your highest creative possibility. Nothing you do can erase the yearning of your soul to achieve it, or the yearning of the universe to give it to you".
-The Law of Divine Compensation
Friday, February 7, 2014
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Abundance & Gratitude
I spent the entire month of November seeing Facebook updates as people did their 30 Days of Grateful. Or rather, they tried to do it but often had to have multiple "grateful" items when they forgot and skipped a day. But I had to appreciate people taking a moment to say the universal prayer that applies with or without religion. Thank you.
I started meditating on a regular basis a year ago. At that point in my life, I was stressed. ALL THE TIME. It was a combination of many things but mostly that I was trying really hard to control all aspects of my life, my business, and be perfect at everything. The more I explore mediation, the more that I learn that being reflective is often about being thankful for the good things in your life. I first started thinking about this when I ran across the 365 Grateful Project at the early phases of my journey. I realized that my reactive nature often controlled my level of reflectiveness. Then I realized that being reactive is a choice. So I decided to choose to be less reactive, to breath when I felt stress, and to count my blessings. Sometimes I felt like I was in slow motion and would catch myself falling into old habits only to be caught by a deep breath. Is this even worth the energy I will expend? And slowly my life has gotten better. Or maybe it was good all along and I wasn't taking the time to notice.
I have by no means mastered a zen lifestyle. Ask my husband- just last night I was panicking as we tried to drive on a muddy Rwandan road with water that had reached knee level. He powered through as we passed a capsized truck and got us home. Have I mentioned that I am grateful that he is slightly more adventurous than I am? Especially considering the FS lifestyle and all.
So I suppose my relationship with an abundant life is still at its beginning. But I've spent some time to figure out what brings more of it into my life.
©Crystaline Randazzo Photo LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Family- My family consists of my husband and one black and white Zambian fuzzball. I'll put them at the top of any "grateful" list. I know that there have been times where I didn't put them on the top, but I also know that all that focus on other things didn't bring me the same amount of happiness.
©Crystaline Randazzo Photo LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Meditation- Every morning before I sit behind the computer and get lost in the depths.
Passion- I am particularly lucky to love what I do. But as I am learning about my industry that loving what you do and making a living at it are two different things. I've spent a lot of time in self reflection and I am still learning what I want. Perhaps my 30's is where I narrow that down.
Exercise- Particularly swimming. Putting my head underwater and laps behind me puts me in a good headspace. Though- I will give a shout out to Insanity which I finished earlier this year. That was an exercise in my problem with task completion.
Relationships- The few and far between true blue friendships that get you through the sweet and the sour in life. I am learning to put more energy into the great ones and less into the ones that don't go anywhere.
Food- Spending that time to make something truly delicious. Give yourself permission not to rush. This applies to both cooking and eating.
Learning- I love learning new things. And with the glories of the interwebs and now MOOC's. I actually have to contain myself.
©Crystaline Randazzo Photo LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Nature- Sometimes I think that nature is my own personal version of church. I get so much out of running away to cabin or a tent and soaking up the scenery. It is simple, blissful rejuvenation.
Distance- Living far away from the people you love forces you to be practical about a lot of things you wouldn't normally be practical about. This ranges from everything from holidays to family drama. There really is something to be said about perspective.
I wonder what would happen if we just took a little bit more time to consider the great things in our lives. What makes your life more abundant?
Monday, November 18, 2013
Realities of Working for Yourself Overseas
Normally, I use this blog as a platform to keep all of my friends and family in the U.S. updated on our adventures abroad. As a fair warning, this blog post is really for other entrepreneurs and spouses who have joined the foreign service or are thinking about joining with the spouse. This is the knitty gritty reality of trying to run your own business abroad.
Most of you know I am photographer by trade. I am told on a regular basis how great it is that my career is flexible and works with my husband's job. The reality of the situation is that every place that we have lived has been a struggle in terms of obtaining a work permit. Dom and I always carefully analyze our options. We choose countries that have bilateral agreements in place. We try to go to places that are pro foreign business. So when Rwanda basically fell into our laps as a option, we ran through the paces.
Prior to arriving at post, I made phone calls. I spoke with the Community Liaison Officer, the Management Section, and HR. I was put into contact with other foreign photographers on the ground who had gotten their business up and running in short order. I read the FAMER:
The verdict, Rwanda is one of the easiest countries in AF to work in. I felt like we hit the jackpot. Finally, a post where we could both be successful.
We've been at post since July. I started the work permit process in July. I still don't have a work permit. The last five months have been a wrestling match between the U.S. Government and the Rwandan Government on their interpretation of our bilateral agreement. After much back and forth about whether I even needed a work permit, I was told to go through official channels and register the business and start the formal process.
Rwanda is a post that is pro-business and has an incredibly easy process for starting one. My front office, CLO, and Management office have been supportive and proactive. This should be the best case scenario. But what it means for me is that as an official American, it is more complex for me to get a permit than an unofficial one. If all goes well, I might have a work permit at the six month mark. That is a quarter of the way through my tour. I will have a year and half to establish my business and then I will pick up and move to the next tour and start the whole process over again.
Why am I laying out this story? I spent time in D.C. in our last tour. I set up meetings with FLO, AAFSW, PROPS, and any other FS spouse group I could find. I talked to spouses who struggle with the same things that I am struggling with. I learned that I am not alone in trying to conquer this mountain at every post. When spouses of FS officers face situations like this and we have done our homework. When we have chosen our post wisely and it still doesn't work. It feels hopeless. It feels like no mater how hard we push and stretch ourselves that the system is against us. We are destined to "trail" and for most of us that means the fail. We fail to reach our potential, our hopes, and our dreams.
When this is what the future looks like for the spouses of foreign service officers, there is something wrong with the system. It is impossible to keep good officers when their families are limited to embassy jobs that may or may not be in their skill set, local jobs that pay well below their qualification, and bilateral agreements that don't work the way they are designed to.
I am curious about other spouses experiences in situations like this? How do you keep the faith?
For spouses who want to start their own businesses. Make sure you have these items on hand when you arrive to a new post:
Notarized Copies of your Diplomas
Notarized Copies of your transcripts
A police report that says you have no criminal history (the RSO can prepare this document for you)
CV
Extra Passport Photos
Most of you know I am photographer by trade. I am told on a regular basis how great it is that my career is flexible and works with my husband's job. The reality of the situation is that every place that we have lived has been a struggle in terms of obtaining a work permit. Dom and I always carefully analyze our options. We choose countries that have bilateral agreements in place. We try to go to places that are pro foreign business. So when Rwanda basically fell into our laps as a option, we ran through the paces.
Prior to arriving at post, I made phone calls. I spoke with the Community Liaison Officer, the Management Section, and HR. I was put into contact with other foreign photographers on the ground who had gotten their business up and running in short order. I read the FAMER:
Work Permits:
|
A bilateral work agreement was implemented in 1992. Family Members of US Direct-Hire Americans do not need a work permit to work in Rwanda. The Embassy issues a diplomatic note to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs under the Bilateral Work Agreement in order to obtain permission to accept employment. There are no fees.
|
We've been at post since July. I started the work permit process in July. I still don't have a work permit. The last five months have been a wrestling match between the U.S. Government and the Rwandan Government on their interpretation of our bilateral agreement. After much back and forth about whether I even needed a work permit, I was told to go through official channels and register the business and start the formal process.
Rwanda is a post that is pro-business and has an incredibly easy process for starting one. My front office, CLO, and Management office have been supportive and proactive. This should be the best case scenario. But what it means for me is that as an official American, it is more complex for me to get a permit than an unofficial one. If all goes well, I might have a work permit at the six month mark. That is a quarter of the way through my tour. I will have a year and half to establish my business and then I will pick up and move to the next tour and start the whole process over again.
Why am I laying out this story? I spent time in D.C. in our last tour. I set up meetings with FLO, AAFSW, PROPS, and any other FS spouse group I could find. I talked to spouses who struggle with the same things that I am struggling with. I learned that I am not alone in trying to conquer this mountain at every post. When spouses of FS officers face situations like this and we have done our homework. When we have chosen our post wisely and it still doesn't work. It feels hopeless. It feels like no mater how hard we push and stretch ourselves that the system is against us. We are destined to "trail" and for most of us that means the fail. We fail to reach our potential, our hopes, and our dreams.
When this is what the future looks like for the spouses of foreign service officers, there is something wrong with the system. It is impossible to keep good officers when their families are limited to embassy jobs that may or may not be in their skill set, local jobs that pay well below their qualification, and bilateral agreements that don't work the way they are designed to.
I am curious about other spouses experiences in situations like this? How do you keep the faith?
For spouses who want to start their own businesses. Make sure you have these items on hand when you arrive to a new post:
Notarized Copies of your Diplomas
Notarized Copies of your transcripts
A police report that says you have no criminal history (the RSO can prepare this document for you)
CV
Extra Passport Photos
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Nyungwe Forest & Canopy Tour
All is well in Kigali! We are settling into the house and we got our shipment last week. Slowly but surely the house actually is starting to look like it belongs to us! More on that soon!
A few weeks ago, Dom and I took our first trip out of Kigali to see the wilds of Rwanda. Actually it was my first trip out, as he did a business trip to the border right after we arrived. We decided to do the longest in country trip first and it was about a five hour drive out to Nyungwe Forest. Rwanda continues to surprise me. I was amazed at the road quality, as most of the drive was paved. Though there was certainly a portion of the drive where we received the proverbial African massage. Which is the on going joke for any road trip on the continent.
We stayed the first night at the Top View Hill Hotel which is a nice, rustic lodge near the forest. For those of you considering a visit. Be aware that it has a very steep driveway and you'd most likely need a four wheel drive to get there. There are about 10 bungalows onsite, and the food was delicious.
The next day, we did the canopy tour. Which is amazing and terrifying at the same time. The pictures just don't do justice to the expanse of the canopies. I just about peed in my pants when I got to the middle of the second bridge. I was videoing but just let the camera drop around my neck when I realized how high up we were. Absolutely breath taking! If you come to Rwanda (and you should), it's a must see.
The last night in Nyungwe, we treated ourselves to a five star stay at the Nyungwe Forest Lodge. Talk about luxury! Of course, my camera battery died, so I can't quite show how amazing the experience was. Thank goodness the iphone is a good back up. I would totally recommend this place if you are looking for a splurge! The food was delish, the rooms were luxurious, and the views were amazing.
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A few weeks ago, Dom and I took our first trip out of Kigali to see the wilds of Rwanda. Actually it was my first trip out, as he did a business trip to the border right after we arrived. We decided to do the longest in country trip first and it was about a five hour drive out to Nyungwe Forest. Rwanda continues to surprise me. I was amazed at the road quality, as most of the drive was paved. Though there was certainly a portion of the drive where we received the proverbial African massage. Which is the on going joke for any road trip on the continent.
We stayed the first night at the Top View Hill Hotel which is a nice, rustic lodge near the forest. For those of you considering a visit. Be aware that it has a very steep driveway and you'd most likely need a four wheel drive to get there. There are about 10 bungalows onsite, and the food was delicious.
Top View Hill Hotel Bungalows
Graphic Dung Art Top View Hill Hotel Lobby
Bedroom in Our Bungalow
Ceiling at Top View Lobby
The drive is so worth it!
Reduce, reuse, recycle. The mosaic is all bottle caps!
Off to the canopy tour! It's about an hour and half total! So amazing!
Safari ants will eat you alive! Which led to the fashion statement below.
Tucking your jeans into dress socks is the next big thing. Didn't you know?
Our amazing view of the canopy.
Canopy walk!
This guy was hanging out right in front of our patio.
The lodge sits right in the middle of a tea plantation. Gorgeous!
Bike ride around the tea plantation!
Infiniti pool overlooking the canopy.
Lobby & five star dung art.
Miles of tea!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Monthly Montage: Our First Month in Kigali
We have officially been in Kigali for 38 days and I am aware that is my first "in country" blog post. All I have to say for myself is that I am on Africa time. What can I say? I make lifestyle adjustments quickly. Here is my montage of thoughts regarding the first month that I thought you might like to know.
My first impression of Kigali- this wasn't what I was expecting. Kigali is the cleanest third world city I have ever been in. The entire country seems to be organized. Store fronts are beautiful manicured, and there is no trash on the street. Did you hear me? There is NO trash on the street. Pretty impressive for such a densely populated area. In fact, the last Saturday of every month is the community cleanup day and Rwandans who do not participate are charged a fee. Oh, did I mention that plastic bags are illegal in this country? I suppose I should give up ziplocks but I'm claiming diplomatic immunity.
The weather is perfect. The sun comes up at six and sets at six. It is eighty degrees during the day and sixty degrees at night. Right now we are in the dry season, the only downside is the dust. It's like living in west Texas without the heat. But I've already been sunburned twice thanks to living on the equator. SPF 30 simply isn't cutting it.
Breathing is a problem. If you want to know what it's like to suffocate then do the 4th week of the Insanity workout upon your first week of arriving. Needless to say- I started back on week one.
The one click purchasing button on Amazon is evil and I love American peanut butter.
We have a lovely house, which will get a blog post of its own once our personal items arrive and I can actually hang things on the wall. For now, we feel like we are luxury camping as we try to MacGyver cooking dinner with what we have in the welcome kit and the strategic packing of the 200 lbs of air baggage that arrived before our other belongings. We were most happy to see our pillows and our coffee maker.
We have 4.5 bathrooms, and all of our toilets have been angled toward the door. I can only assume this is a feng shui technique to open up our chi. I have always said that having two bathrooms is the secret to a happy marriage. So basically my marriage should be like eating chocolate chip cookie dough and riding a vespa for the next two years.
The trick to not going crazy when you first arrive at post and you don't have a car or internet is to keep yourself busy. So, I gave myself a list of projects. The first one is learn video. I haven't gotten to the second one. But I am working on two very cool video projects and an extra special multimedia project at the moment. I also hope to make a video about our first few months in Kigali so stay tuned!
I have read 12 books since arriving at post. In one, I learned about my Archetypes. Let's say that some were more flattering then others, but I gained some interesting insight about myself.
That handsome man of mine is working some crazy hours and doing amazing things as usual. We're working on finding him a hobby and through discussions and delicious tastings with some new friends, I think beer brewing is top on the list. Frankly, I think it's strategic when your hobby-of-choice can actually support your sport-of-choice. But maybe that's just me.
Dom recently visited Gisenyi at the border with Goma. He enjoyed a five star stay at the Serena. He made sure to call and rub it in. One of his Rwandan work colleagues asked him if he'd like him to pick up some veggies from the market for him as you can get them for a better deal outside of the city. Dom told him, "Sure. Get me whatever you are getting." Dom arrived home with a 50 lb bag of veggies. It took us two days to clean all the veggies. I also learned alot about what you can make with 50 lb bags of veggies. This is what $18 buys you in the Rwandan countryside.
That sums up the first 5 minutes of our tour! We love you! We miss you! Come visit soon!
#iliveinaplacewherefirtreesandcactusreside
My first impression of Kigali- this wasn't what I was expecting. Kigali is the cleanest third world city I have ever been in. The entire country seems to be organized. Store fronts are beautiful manicured, and there is no trash on the street. Did you hear me? There is NO trash on the street. Pretty impressive for such a densely populated area. In fact, the last Saturday of every month is the community cleanup day and Rwandans who do not participate are charged a fee. Oh, did I mention that plastic bags are illegal in this country? I suppose I should give up ziplocks but I'm claiming diplomatic immunity.
The weather is perfect. The sun comes up at six and sets at six. It is eighty degrees during the day and sixty degrees at night. Right now we are in the dry season, the only downside is the dust. It's like living in west Texas without the heat. But I've already been sunburned twice thanks to living on the equator. SPF 30 simply isn't cutting it.
Breathing is a problem. If you want to know what it's like to suffocate then do the 4th week of the Insanity workout upon your first week of arriving. Needless to say- I started back on week one.
The one click purchasing button on Amazon is evil and I love American peanut butter.
We have a lovely house, which will get a blog post of its own once our personal items arrive and I can actually hang things on the wall. For now, we feel like we are luxury camping as we try to MacGyver cooking dinner with what we have in the welcome kit and the strategic packing of the 200 lbs of air baggage that arrived before our other belongings. We were most happy to see our pillows and our coffee maker.
We have 4.5 bathrooms, and all of our toilets have been angled toward the door. I can only assume this is a feng shui technique to open up our chi. I have always said that having two bathrooms is the secret to a happy marriage. So basically my marriage should be like eating chocolate chip cookie dough and riding a vespa for the next two years.
The trick to not going crazy when you first arrive at post and you don't have a car or internet is to keep yourself busy. So, I gave myself a list of projects. The first one is learn video. I haven't gotten to the second one. But I am working on two very cool video projects and an extra special multimedia project at the moment. I also hope to make a video about our first few months in Kigali so stay tuned!
I have read 12 books since arriving at post. In one, I learned about my Archetypes. Let's say that some were more flattering then others, but I gained some interesting insight about myself.
That handsome man of mine is working some crazy hours and doing amazing things as usual. We're working on finding him a hobby and through discussions and delicious tastings with some new friends, I think beer brewing is top on the list. Frankly, I think it's strategic when your hobby-of-choice can actually support your sport-of-choice. But maybe that's just me.
Dom recently visited Gisenyi at the border with Goma. He enjoyed a five star stay at the Serena. He made sure to call and rub it in. One of his Rwandan work colleagues asked him if he'd like him to pick up some veggies from the market for him as you can get them for a better deal outside of the city. Dom told him, "Sure. Get me whatever you are getting." Dom arrived home with a 50 lb bag of veggies. It took us two days to clean all the veggies. I also learned alot about what you can make with 50 lb bags of veggies. This is what $18 buys you in the Rwandan countryside.
That sums up the first 5 minutes of our tour! We love you! We miss you! Come visit soon!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Rwanda- Here We Come!
Hi All! Dom and I have received our next assignment and are traveling to our next post! We will arrive on July 4th which seems very appropriate. Want to see a slice of our new life? Check out this great video!
I'll be posting updates as we move forward! If you ever want a grand adventure then come and see us!
http://vimeo.com/57465392
I'll be posting updates as we move forward! If you ever want a grand adventure then come and see us!
http://vimeo.com/57465392
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Beauty Chaser
Over the last few weeks, I have been asked a simple question that I simply don't know how to answer. "If you could do anything that you wanted to do, what would it be?" For someone who has been chasing their dream for over ten years you would think this would be simple. But if anything, I find it increasingly difficult as I look both in my past and toward my future.
What do I want? When you take out logistics, finances, all limitations. What is my dream? I stop. I ponder. I rack my head against the wall. And the only thing that comes out is this truth. I long for beauty.
It's true, I am a beauty chaser. I have flown my beauty flag my whole life. Always seeking loveliness and striving to surround myself with it. This is why I dwell on paint colors, make valiant efforts to meet (and feel a personal connection with) the artists whose work adorns my walls, and fill my shelves with photographers/designers/artists whose work I admire. It is why, I NEED to pick up fresh flowers from Trader Joe's and arrange them around my home in beautiful pitchers and vases. This is why, I shamelessly preselect people at parties that I want to be friends with because I love the outfit they put together or the way they fixed their hair. It's why I spend hours on Pintrest and read way too many blogs just so I can soak in the eye candy that is just there for the taking.
It is why, I dwell over my own photography and strive to be better. I am ever learning greater technical skill. My goal daily is to capture truly beautiful, creative moments.
Even as I say what it is I truly want. I feel silly. That's my dream job? To be with and create beautiful things? Seems vague, and probably not exactly the answer that they were looking for. But it is the only truth that I have for the moment, so there is nothing to do but own it. I want to be with and create beautiful things. I want to be a beauty chaser.
So today, I left behind the hours of editing, invoicing, and house cleaning. I picked up my camera, grabbed my husband, and we went to the home of the late philanthropist and collector Marjorie Merriweather Post's Hillwood, an urban oasis blending exquisite arts and lush botanicals in DC. And was I ever inspired! Talk about discovering the ultimate beauty chaser!
You know when you feel like you just understand someone no matter what your differences, not to mention your lifespan? I just felt her love of beauty in the house from the furnishings, to the Japanese gardens, and an incredible demitasse cup collection that inspired me to start one immediately. Hillwood hosts the most extensive collection of Russian imperial art outside of Russia, and a pretty incredible collection of 18th Century French art. It didn't hurt that she once had a career as a "diplomatic wife", she shares my love of delicate flowers, and spent two years bringing Hillwood to it's currently glory. Something tells me we'll run into each other in another life and be grand friends.
Now back to my truth, I was absolutely, enthusiastically thrilled to be there surrounded by all that beauty and the effort it took to create it. So that is it. It's official. I AM a beauty chaser. Right now it's just me and Ms. Post but I welcome you to join me in my endeavors!
What do I want? When you take out logistics, finances, all limitations. What is my dream? I stop. I ponder. I rack my head against the wall. And the only thing that comes out is this truth. I long for beauty.
It's true, I am a beauty chaser. I have flown my beauty flag my whole life. Always seeking loveliness and striving to surround myself with it. This is why I dwell on paint colors, make valiant efforts to meet (and feel a personal connection with) the artists whose work adorns my walls, and fill my shelves with photographers/designers/artists whose work I admire. It is why, I NEED to pick up fresh flowers from Trader Joe's and arrange them around my home in beautiful pitchers and vases. This is why, I shamelessly preselect people at parties that I want to be friends with because I love the outfit they put together or the way they fixed their hair. It's why I spend hours on Pintrest and read way too many blogs just so I can soak in the eye candy that is just there for the taking.
It is why, I dwell over my own photography and strive to be better. I am ever learning greater technical skill. My goal daily is to capture truly beautiful, creative moments.
Even as I say what it is I truly want. I feel silly. That's my dream job? To be with and create beautiful things? Seems vague, and probably not exactly the answer that they were looking for. But it is the only truth that I have for the moment, so there is nothing to do but own it. I want to be with and create beautiful things. I want to be a beauty chaser.
So today, I left behind the hours of editing, invoicing, and house cleaning. I picked up my camera, grabbed my husband, and we went to the home of the late philanthropist and collector Marjorie Merriweather Post's Hillwood, an urban oasis blending exquisite arts and lush botanicals in DC. And was I ever inspired! Talk about discovering the ultimate beauty chaser!
You know when you feel like you just understand someone no matter what your differences, not to mention your lifespan? I just felt her love of beauty in the house from the furnishings, to the Japanese gardens, and an incredible demitasse cup collection that inspired me to start one immediately. Hillwood hosts the most extensive collection of Russian imperial art outside of Russia, and a pretty incredible collection of 18th Century French art. It didn't hurt that she once had a career as a "diplomatic wife", she shares my love of delicate flowers, and spent two years bringing Hillwood to it's currently glory. Something tells me we'll run into each other in another life and be grand friends.
Now back to my truth, I was absolutely, enthusiastically thrilled to be there surrounded by all that beauty and the effort it took to create it. So that is it. It's official. I AM a beauty chaser. Right now it's just me and Ms. Post but I welcome you to join me in my endeavors!
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